Sheets

I fell and floated into the sheets that fluffed out in every direction. My hazy mind making me believe for half a second I was still in a sea of clouds.

I was in my friends flat. He had picked me up to 'hangout' with him. When we reached his house he lit up some mary and passed it to me. I'm not a big fan of altered states of mind. I love them, but I have such an addictive personality I'm afraid I might abuse it. If my thoughts towards sex were any indication, I often couldn't help myself.

It funny the ideas your mind plays when your altered. I always feel like I am flying, and simultaneous moving between time like frames in a movie. Shifting dimension with every breath. I remember the first time I smoked with him. We laid staring at the ceiling, and I started laughing because the ceiling tile to the roof looked like a framed picture of the roof. Then I had the idea, what if you painted that panel like a famous artwork, like the Mona Lisa, or Starry night, and then put it back on the ceiling so it looked like you had a framed picture there. I couldn't stop laughing, I found it so funny.

Another I was sitting at the bottom of a shower. He was standing over me, and I had been doing some things with my mouth. He stepped out of the stream, and the water cascaded over me. I closed my eyes and immediately I was on the ocean floor, a cold tide moving around me as I stood at the edge of a coral reef. Slightly dark blue water submerging me as I stared over the coral, soggy clothes fluttering around me. I remember seeing this and keeping my eyes closed. Such a beautiful scene, I didn't want to lose it.

As the sea of cloud sheets settled down I rolled over onto my back so I was staring back at the ceiling. I could hear him in the bathroom water running from the tap as he did god knows what. I sank further into the downy sheets. I knew he kept them on his bed special for me. I'm always cold and want them. After a while he came back in. My eyes closed I imagined I could see the fun above a sea of clouds. A hand settled on my chest, and my legs were thrown around shoulders. I could feel the slippery of high-quality lube being pushed into me. I gave a gentle moan. This would be the 3rd time that evening we had done it.

First time on the couch where he wanted to use a (huge!) toy. I told him I was feeling vanilla, but that didn't stop him from still eventually holding me down and using it anyways.

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with him anyways. He is a bit older, but not super old. Still, doing the math, when I was born he was 13. and when he was legal I was 5. I once told him this math and he was disgusted with me for even bringing it up. A fine response to such a tricky comment. Still. At times when he makes me feel powerless I always wonder what a 5 year old could do against an 18 year old anyways....

The second time was also on the couch, though much faster than the first. So later when I moved to his room, I figured we were done.

I cried out with the first impact. After twice earlier you really are sore down there, and I really didn't want to do it again. He ignored my cries and pushed forward anyways

We have developed a sort of dance, where when I start feeling too sore I tell him I can't take it anymore. Usually he speeds up faster until he comes. When I can't take it more than that I arc my back and try to move away. This is usually when he really holds me down. I have tried to get away before and he has held me pretty firm. The more I struggle the faster he comes. He gets off on dominating as much as I get off on being dominated. As I once read on a patch, the faster you scream the louder we come (talking about EMTs)

Differences

There are different kinds of sex. I'm going to name just a few

The first is Smooth. It is perfectly lubed up and everything just glides.

There is the Gritty/tacky. Its low quality lube, and very quickly feel very tacky and pully. Its not very fun at all.

The other is Deep. Where you can feel they are pushing through the other side. It's a really strange feeling.

Others feel Tight, where every movement is felt everywhere at once. Where it feels like the might be splitting you in half right down the middle.

There is the dirty kind where you just feel gross. Where the person fucking you just brings up unpleasant connections and you just hope to have it end.

The celestial kind where you are genuinely interested in someone who is also interested in you. Awfully rare to be honest....

Revenge sex. When you sleep with a crushes boyfriends because if you can't have them, their partner can't either. I'm a shallow bitch, and guys are petty as hell.

Angry sex. When you have just gotten into a fight and you sex it out. Incredibly exciting, and passionate.

First time sex. Those individuals who either haven't done it ever, or very little. Who are working on their technique. Usually kind lovers, if a bit boring.

Worship sex. Uniquely my favorite type, especially the line of play I'm in. People that pay for you also tend to worship you as the hottest thing they have ever laid eyes on. Flattering for sure. When they are literally paying for your time, you could do a lot worse than have someone idolize you.

Dominating sex. I was going to end this list at 10. But I feel like this list isn't complete without mentioning the dominating types. There are those who literally want you to squirm. They want you to beg for them to stop. To struggle against them until they feel you are powerless to them. These are the moments I very carefully watch their movements and gauge their strength. I may act weak and powerless. But if it came down to it, I am so much more than that!

Impact

Guy like to be rough almost as much as they like to be soft. But when they are paying for your time, rough is usually the norm.

We're in the back of a car, a blanket below us. It's a little warm, but I don't mind. A breeze blows through a gap in a window. He's straddling me, pushing my shoulder-blades so I'm pressed into the seat. I can feel him 'position' himself, then press in as hard as he can. Pressure! Pop! Then he's in.

The same words cross my mind every time.

First Impact.

Its always the same. A mix of ecstasy and pain. Of being forced into, and feeling the release that comes with the thought I'm being taken.

First Impact. I'm sure I read those words somewhere before, but I can never quite remember what they are from. But it describes it perfectly. First Impact.

To be honest, the first impact is my favorite part, right up there to the point when its over. Not that I don't enjoy sex, its my drug of choice. But between the moaning and gripping of sheets, I find the very beginning when it first starts, and the very end when they gasp moaning the best. The two most powerful moments. The foreplay that makes them want to rip my clothes off, and the finale, when they collapse breathing heavily, tousling my hair and telling me it was amazing.

But it always stay with me.

First Impact.