Monday, April 20, 2015

Thin

I'm anorexic.

Whenever I get hungry I repeat this mantra to myself

Thin is in

I tell this to myself as I practically dream of food. I imagine myself walking to the kitchen and making something. Anything! But I ignore it

Thin is in

At times I give into my hunger, and make something for myself. While I'm cooking it all I can imagine is how delicious its going to taste.

Thin is in

But then when I'm finished I just stare at it. Maybe take a nibble before feeling revolted and sick. I dump it in the trash.

Thin is in

It hurts my heart to waste food. I know what its like to not know if there is going to be a next meal. But when I look at whatever it is I've prepared, my stomach turns. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Thin is in

Once I start getting thin enough that people ask, I start eating again. I force myself to eat.

Thin is in

Its not that I don't enjoy food. I love food! and eating! Its so amazing and delicious! Any bad day can be turned around with food.

Thin is in

Its when I start feeling fat. When I look in the mirror and notice I'm a little rounder. Thats when it starts all over again. Because thats when I can hear the voice in my head.

Thin is in

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